It's a Long Way to Tipperary

My grandmother loves that song. It was one of her favorites.

She just told my dad & my uncle that she's dying. She is. Right now. Just across town.

I had a feeling she wouldn't make it far into 2005. I really hope she just dies quickly and peacefully and that her wish of being reunited with my grandad is fulfilled. She loved that man fiercly and proudly for her entire life. When I saw her on Saturday, she grabbed my hand in both of hers when I was leaving and she pleaded with her eyes...."come see me" she said gently with a touch of panic. I could tell at that moment that she knew the end was near. I am afraid to go see her tonight. She has talked to me many times about wanting to die, she has made no secret of it. I asked my mom if the nurses could just up her morphine dosage so she could go quickly. They think she will make it through the night.

I would rather she was oblivious. I can just picture the fear on her face when she said that to her sons. What does that feel like?

Nana, don't be scared. It's not far from Claire to here.

Peace to you. I love you.